I can't sleep at all. Thoughts just keep creeping into my mind. It's like, during the day, I won't have a single thought. I just am. I'm on auto-pilot. Then, at night, I can't stop thinking. It makes up for my not thinking during the days. School's around the corner. Tomorrow to be precise. Maybe my numbing mood will drown out with school. I just need to be kept busy, I'm sick of not feeling. I want to feel. Even if it was pain, I want to be able to feel something. I've really found out alot about myself this summer, though. I've learned. I'm growing mentally into a better person. I was never a bad person; I just wasn't a smart person.
I know this blog might sound rather down, but I'm fairly happy. I'm happy to finally have figured something out in my life. To know some more things. To get something done. It makes me feel accomplished: A sense I haven't felt in months. & I'm not letting it fade out again. I'm going to start doing things again. I'm going to start being really happy again. For real happy. Not the cheesy limited smiling, happy. I'm breaking out of this. Euphoria, you're out of here.
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