Sweetheart, life will never be fair.

Yah, follow me here on my path of redemption.
Rid of your evils, internal and external.
Your voice, a light, has banished them all.
They've crawled back to the shadows, not to be seen.
But, they'll come back.
...They always come back.
For now, Walk around proudly, & hold your head high. You're a conqueror. A warrior. You've got your pride. Hold it high, don't let that chin drop. After all, your dignity is all that you've got.
Disapproving glances aren't high on my concerning list, You get them no matter what you do, whatever decision you make. Baby, you can't please everyone. Atleast three somebody's will bash you on the path you decide to take. And when they do -keep walking.
"Hey, I'm back. Hope you didn't forget about us." You didn't think you could be happy and get away with it, did you? Naive child, your worries, your "evils" will return eventually.
You can't have your cake and eat it, too.
Something will be in your way, keeping you from what you want. You're going to get what you wanted and lose what you've already got. "You can't have both." "...But, I want both." "You don't always get what you want." You'll be forcing two magnets together, two opposing ends, they won't just, get along. I'll make it work somehow. I won't force my magnets together. I won't make the two ends play nice. I'll just let whatever happens, happen.
But, I will have both. I can't survive without both.
I can have what I want and keep what I've got.
All it takes is balance.
I've always been the clumsy type; falling down and tripping over my feet.
But, I will learn to be graceful. I will learn to balance. I will learn.
Because, I will not give up what I want because, obstacles are in my way.
I can climb.
I will climb.
I won't let something new take the place of something else I've had longer.
How could it?
It can't.
It never will.
I won't be the juggler; juggling a million different things stressfully.
I will be on the tightrope, balancing with poise.
I will have my cake and eat it too.
Goodnight.

Old writings?

Your eyes intoxicating,
My heart is drunk in elevation.
I feel higher than life right now, Baby, you've always been my sweetest salvation. Saving me from the darkest of evils; Myself being the worst of the lot.
You brought out the best of me I've ever known,
Then buried the pieces that'd left my heart distraught.

I can't stop my shaking,
Please be my restraint.
My hands are trembling without rest, My sense of reason growing faint;
My heartbeat matches the tempo, & my eyes can't hold one place.
from headphone to heart-
I'm pulsing, Equivalent to fast and heavy bass.

I smell the smelly smell of something that smells smelly.

So, I told Kelly about "my feeling", it's the strangest thing. I swear.

I feel like, I'm not living my life. I experience things, of course. But, I'm watching myself live my life from afar. The days go by too fast, constantly. I have a hard time remembering things besides how I felt EXACTLY at that one time; every feeling, every thought. My mom says it's called Euphoria. It's supposedly a coping mechanism. 

I'm not coping. I'm non-existant. 

I don't like it.

I'm in Seattle at the moment.

It's smells the same (: that rainy smell.

One thing I know I haven't lost is my outlook on everything.

Life is beautiful; it's just going by too fast.